The Forgotten Soul
by PWN Goddess
Summary: Nobodies are beings who have lost their hearts, and with that, their ability to feel. But some hearts are stronger than others, leaving a small amount beating within the chest of a lost and forgotten soul.
1. New Encounters

** Preface  
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I walked slowly through the dark corridors in silence. His hand pressed stiffly against the back of my shoulder as he guided me along. We finally wandered through a large doorway into a large room filled with nothing but eight small blue couches and two blue coffee tables. The walls were light blue and the floor was as cold as steel. The first thing I noticed as I entered however, was that the back wall was nothing but a large glass window. The tall, tan skinned man, who had brought me here seemed to be leading me to something. Or someone. I looked up at him when we had stopped behind one of the couches which a red headed man, who appeared to be roughly around the age of 20, sat in casually with his hands behind his head. The man whom I had entered with, whose name was Xemnas if I remembered correctly, returned my stare with his cold, golden eyes, causing his blueish white hair to fall over his shoulders. He then began to speak, returning his gaze to the red head as he did so, "Axel, I have an assignment for you." The red head, whose name seemed to be Axel, then turned and stared at me with his piercing green eyes, "I would like you to show our newest member around." Axel's face was rather pale, but his demeanor seemed dark, which made me glad that the black robes that had been given to me had a hood attached so that I could hide my face. Xemnas then continued to speak. "She may also need some assistance training. Axel, I would like you to meet number XIV, Xeiilem."

** Chapter 1  
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I awoke the next morning the same as the last, slowly and drearily. As I pulled my dark cloak over my head and brushed out my long curly brown hair, I found thoughts bouncing around in my head so intensely that it was almost painful. Why was I here? Who was I before? Why were my memories so fuzzy? There was so much that I wanted to know, but no one seemed to be willing to provide me with any answers. I exited my plain, pale blue room and walked down the halls towards the large room in which I had met Axel the previous evening. As I wandered through the corridors of the castle, a recurring pattern became highly apparent to me. Every wall, every stairwell, every inch of the floor, it was all the same. There appeared to be little to no distinctiveness anywhere in the entire vicinity. Just the same pale blue walls and floors and the recurring symbol of the organization of which I was apparently now a member of. I had finally reached the large room, which appeared to be the only room with a hint of difference from the others, and that was the wall made entirely of glass. As I looked around the room, I noticed two things; one was that this area seemed to be some sort of lounge for the other members, as a group of them sat, relaxing on the couches, and two; the castle itself was not the only thing that seemed identical. Each member, including myself, wore the same long black coats, black gloves, and black leather boots. I pulled my hood over my face shyly once I noticed the numerous sets of eyes on me. I attempted to get to one of the couches, avoiding eye contact as I did so. I sat quietly and my eyes began to scan the room. There was a blond man with a buzz cut and a gotee playing cards with an older man with long black hair with gray stripes running through it pulled back in a ponytail. I concluded that he must be a vicious fighter, as one of his eyes was covered by a black patch and a dark scar ran down the side of his face. Another man with blue eyes and long black hair that seemed to slightly wrap around the sides of his face sat alone silently. A young man with dirty blond hair styled in the form of a mullet/faux hawk, who looked like the youngest of the group next to myself, being 17, maybe slightly younger than Axel, sat on one of the couches on the far side of the room contentedly strumming a blue sitar that seemed to resemble the symbol of the organization. I wasn't sure why, but he looked vaguely familiar to me. He must have noticed me staring at him, as he suddenly looked up and smiled brightly. I quickly looked down, trying to avert his gaze. It must have worked, as he continued playing his sitar casually. "Looks like I'm paired up with you today, Number XIV." I looked up to see Axel staring down at me. He looked tired somehow, like something was troubling him. "Well, are you ready to go?" I nodded and stood. Even while standing up straight, the top of my head just came to his chin. Everyone in the Organization seemed to be quite tall. Well, except for me. I stared in silence as Axel raised his hand, causing a dark portal to appear. I began to follow him through the shadowy vortex, but stopped for a moment to look behind myself, feeling the gaze of someone upon my back. My suspicions proved correct, as my dark brown eyes met a pair of aqua blue ones. The man had long hair which matched the blue color of his cold eyes, and he had a deep scar in the shape of an X covering his face. When his gaze remained locked on me, I turned around and followed Axel into the darkness.


	2. Awkward Meetings

**Chapter 2**

The vortex of shadows quickly consumed me, and before I knew what had happened, I was standing in the middle of a small town. Somehow, I recognized the area. There were tan colored buildings and homes with deep red roofs. There were also many intricately designed archways and bridges which connected a few of the shops in the town. "Twilight Town." muttered Axel. I stared at him, unsure of what we were supposed to be doing here. "I'm sure you must know what Heartless are, right?" I nodded in silence. "Well, our job is to destroy them and collect their hearts. Now, only one person currently in existence actually possesses the ability to collect these hearts, but we still need to get rid of the Heartless in certain areas." As he finished speaking, a group of small creatures began to lurch toward us. They were pitch black and had bright yellow eyes and long antennae. "Just follow me." The red head stretched out both of his hands at his sides. Fiery flames quickly surrounded his hands and then dissipated just as quickly, leaving in their place red twin chakrams. He then dove towards one of the small Heartless, slicing it down with one swift movement, causing it to vanish into a pit of shadows. Without thinking, a pulse of energy ran down my arm, and then a long sword appeared in my grasp. It was jet black and had neon blue lines that connected like an intricate puzzle. It seemed to pulse with energy. I lunged at one of the Heartless, cutting it down where it stood. I then quickly moved onto the next, and then the next. The movement seemed so natural and I wasn't sure why. I stopped for a moment when I noticed Axel watching me. For some reason, I felt as if I had to prove something to him. Show him that I could handle myself. My next move may have proven contrary however. Three of the Heartless jumped at me from behind, causing me to fall to my knees. I attempted to pull them off, but their talons were latched onto my dark coat. I struggled to be rid of them until I finally felt the pressure on my back disappear. I glanced up to see Axel staring somewhat smugly down at me, his chakrams at his sides. I grasped his hand when he offered it to help me up. "Hm, your looks are pretty deceiving. I would have never guessed that you could have taken as many Heartless as you did. Even if you did require my assistance towards the end." I stared at him in silence, not quite sure what he was talking about. Only then did I realize that the Heartless had knocked my hood down, revealing my slightly pale face and long brown hair and bangs that came slightly passed my brown eyes. A small smirk appeared across his face at my slight embarrassment. "I suppose we should be getting back. Our job is done here." He suddenly stopped when he noticed me looking at him, as if he was questioning something. He shook his head lightly and then began to speak again "You know how to get back, right? I think I'm going to stay here for a little while." I nodded. "And just in case you didn't remember, my name is Axel. Got it memorized?" A small smile appeared across my face as he turned to leave. It felt strange to smile. Every "emotion" up until this point felt almost fake for some reason. Not that I had been like this that long. I outstretched my hand and a portal appeared. I stepped through it and soon found myself back at the castle which I now called home.

A few of the people seemed different when I returned. There was a sinister looking man with long, light pink hair sitting alone on one of the couches. A thin, blond haired girl sat across from him on one of the couches as well. The only person that remained there from this morning it seemed, was the dirty blond with the sitar. He stood as I appeared in the room. He walked towards me casually, leaving his blue sitar leaning against the couch which he had been sitting on. "Hey newbie. Names Demyx." He seemed rather kind and carefree, unlike the rest of the Organization. Well, except for Axel. But I still wasn't quite sure what to make of him. "Well, you do have a name, don't ya?" I suddenly realized that I had zoned out. I nodded, "My name is Xeiilem." Demyx smiled as he extended his hand to me "So, who'd they choose to be your mentor?" The name stuck in my throat for a moment, as I hadn't really spoken in quite a while "Axel." The teen stopped for a moment and his hand touched the bottom of his chin, "Hm, seeing as he seems to have abandoned you today, I think I'll let you hang out with me for a while." His tone seemed slightly conceded, but I knew that he was trying to help me in his own strange way, so I smiled and followed him back to where he had been sitting when I arrived. As I sat down, I noticed a somewhat short young man with messy, dark blue, medium length hair that covered his face staring at me. When I peered back at him he returned his attention to the small book in his hand. "That's Zexion." I heard Demyx say. "He doesn't really associate with anybody that much. Prefers to be by himself, I guess." Zexion glanced back at me once more and I looked away, turning my attention back to Demyx. "So, just out of curiosity, what is your element?" He asked me as he leaned back casually in the couch opposite to myself. I suppose my puzzlement must have shown, as he then began to explain what he had meant, "Ya know, your fighting ability. I control water, Axel controls fire. So, what's your element?" I wasn't quite sure to be honest. I believed I remembered Xemnas saying something about auras to me, and I seemed to be able to sense others energy somehow, "Aura, I guess." Demyx was then the one with the puzzled look on his face, "So, how does it work exactly?" I half expected the question, but I wasn't sure if I knew how to answer. "I can sort of feel other peoples auras. Their energy, that is. Everyone has their own aura, and I can sense them. I suppose I sort of know how to channel my own aura and use it against people." I didn't think that I had explained it very well, but he didn't seem to notice. Or maybe he did and just didn't want to seem like he didn't have a clue what I was talking about, I couldn't be sure either way. Demyx's hands reached behind his head and his eyes slipped shut "That's cool." I wondered if I was boring him or if he was just tired. I didn't really care though for some reason. I felt kind of comfortable being with him, so it didn't really matter to me whether or not he was truly paying attention.

After a few moments of silence, I concluded that Demyx must have fallen asleep. I looked around the room and noticed that the only member who remained besides myself and Demyx, was Zexion. He seemed completely immersed in the book he was reading. Closer evaluation revealed the novel to be "The Picture of Dorian Gray." I somehow remembered myself and my brother attempting to read the novel when we were small. We heard that it was a rather disturbing book about a man who does not age. Instead, a painting that was done of him ages to keep the real thing young. We had a bit of trouble understanding the story at our age, myself being 10 at the time and my brother nearly 12, but it managed to keep us awake for a few days. Zexion's blue eyes suddenly glanced up, meeting with mine. "Um, that book is pretty interesting from what I can remember." I realized that I must have sounded uncomfortable when I spoke; and I was. He said nothing, he just stared at me for a long moment. "I'm Xeiilem, by the way." His mouth twisted into a small smirk, "Zexion." That was all he said to me for the rest of the night.


	3. Faded Memories

**Chapter 3**

I lay in my bed that night, completely awake. How on earth could I ever expect to fall asleep fully aware that none of my questions had been answered? That whatever life I used to have was now a distant memory? That I now lived in a cold castle with a group of dark, sinister beings of whom I knew very little? All I wanted were answers. Everything was so confusing, it almost made me ill just to think about it. I stared out the large glass window that my hard, blue bed lay against, wondering how I had ended up in this situation. I couldn't recall anything that had happened. All that I could remember was waking up to find dark, golden eyes staring down at me and then guiding me towards a large castle. I somehow could vaguely recall memories of a family. My family. I had an older brother who was my closest companion and friend. I had a mother, who would help me with all of my problems and somehow manage to calm me whenever I became weary. And I had a father. I didn't have much recollection of him, but maybe that was due to him being gone most of the time because of his job. Despite his never being around however, one of my strongest memories, was of him holding me tightly when I was young after I had fallen and scraped my knee. It hurt to attempt to remember my previous life. I wanted my family back, my friends back, my life back. I realized that all I was doing was torturing myself, so I forced the thoughts into the back of my mind and persuaded my eyelids shut, causing my brain to shut down and my body to drift into a calm slumber.

The next morning was cold. Literally. My room felt as if the icy blue walls that surrounded me honestly were made out of frozen snow. The temperature wasn't the only icy feeling I got. The whole demeanor of the castle seemed darker somehow, but I wasn't sure why. I quietly slipped out of my dark room and made a quick turn to the left, in the direction of the main, or "lounge" room as I had begun to call it. I was nearly to the large room in which the entire castle congregated, when I stopped. I could hear whispers from the opposite side of the wall to my right. I pressed my ear to the wall, jolting back slightly as I felt its icy sting, but quickly put it back despite my uncomfortableness. "You're absolutely sure?" I could hear a young, masculine voice say, "Yes. She will be a valuable asset to us." I heard a much deeper, somehow darker voice say. "Very well, Superior." Only then did I realize that the deep, older voice had belonged to Xemnas. For some reason I was unable to identify the younger, masculine voice though. The thing that was really bothering me however, was what they were discussing. Was this "she" they were speaking of me? The only other female in the organization as far as I could tell, was the pale blond whom I had seen in the lounge the previous evening. I pressed my ear closer to the wall, attempting to hear more, when a voice behind me made my head jerk to the side to meet their accusing eyes, "Looks like we have a little eavesdropper, huh?" Axel's voice was almost cynical. "No, I just, um-" I knew that I had been found out, and I prayed that he wouldn't tell anyone of this. "Relax, I'm not gonna rat you out." I inhaled a deep sigh of relief, "Thanks." was all I could say. He stared down at me with his neon green eyes, a small smirk forming on his pale face. For some reason, I felt a strange sensation in the pit of my stomach when he did that. "I think Xemnas has you paired with Zexion today. You should hurry up, he's probably waiting for you." I nodded and turned on my heels before beginning a sprint towards the large room with the wall made of glass.

As I entered, I found Zexion standing against the glass window with a small blue book under his left arm. I slowly made my way over to him, stopping about three feet away, "Are you ready?" he asked me, his tone as cold as the demeanor that morning. "Yes." I responded a bit more cheerily than he had, attempting to make light of the awkward situation which we were now faced with. He held out his right hand, forcing a dark portal to appear. He went through first, and I followed closely behind, allowing my entire being to be consumed by the darkness.

We appeared in a dim forest alive with lush greenery and flowers. Something was strange about this place though, and it only took me a moment to realize what it was, "Where are all of animals?" I muttered, my voice barely a whisper. Zexion must have still managed to hear me though, as he then began to answer my question, "The Heartless have frightened them away. Its a wonder they left even the scenery. I half expected this area to be completely ravaged." His eyes seemed to scan the vicinity as he spoke. "That's...terrible." I said quietly. "Indeed." he replied. He seemed to take interest in the preservation of this area, and I began to wonder if it held some hidden meaning for him. It only took a few minutes for the Heartless to appear, crawling forth from the shadows one by one. They seemed a bit stronger then the ones I had fought with Axel. They sometimes were able to dodge the slash of my blade by melting into a pit of never ending darkness. "Focus!" Zexion would say to me every now and again, and whenever he did, I stopped for a moment and closed my eyes. I must have begun to improve at controlling my aura, as when I remained focused on one of the small dark creatures, I could locate them even within the hidden confines of the shadows which they had created. As I neared the end of the battle, I realized that Zexion hadn't fought that much. It seemed that he preferred to fight with magic rather then weapons. He didn't seem to need weapons though, as the magic which flowed from his gloved hands seemed more lethal than any weapon one could conjure up from their minds. A small feeling of pride filled my body as I sliced down the last remaining Heartless. The feeling seemed strange for some reason, almost….unnatural. I turned to see Zexion staring at me strangely. "We should return to the castle." Needless to say, I was slightly disappointed. It seemed as if we had just arrived and now we were already returning to the cold confines of the castle. "Zexion," he paused a moment and turned to me, "Why do we need to go back to the castle already? It seems like we just got here." My voice was slightly pleading, and I hoped that he didn't notice it too much. He sighed deeply before looking towards me. "What do you suggest that we do then, Xeiilem?" I honestly wasn't quite sure, but I knew that I wasn't ready to return yet. "We could just relax here for a little while. You seem to have great taste in books. Maybe we can read." He stood in silence for what seemed like forever, but a small smile slowly appeared on his pale face, "Sure."

Zexion seemed to enjoy many classical works, as the book which he produced from his over-sized pocket was an English translation of "The Republic" by Plato. I had never read such a well written, in-depth work of literature before. Every once in a while Zexion would ask me my opinion on a political issue in the book and would seem somewhat impressed when I was able to express my thoughts in a rather intellectual manner, After a while, we both realized that the sun had begun to set on the horizon, and we knew that we had to return to the castle. Zexion stood up off of the damp forest floor and then extended his hand to me. A small smile spread across his face, "Thank you." "For what?" I questioned confusedly. "I haven't had an intellectual conversation with anyone in quite a while. This mission with you has been rather enjoyable, despite the fact that we cannot honestly feel joy." His last remark confused me slightly, but I decided it best to ignore it, instead, responding with a bright smile "I had a great time with you too, Zexion."

When we arrived back at the castle, eyes almost immediately became locked on us. "Goodnight, Xeiilem." Zexion said sweetly before exiting the room towards his quarters. Demyx was there again today, and I quickly found my way over towards him. "Hey Number XIV." he said casually. "So what're ya up to today?" I smiled, "Just a bit of recon with Zexion." Demyx looked up at me and seemed slightly confused, "You went on a mission with Zexion? And you're not totally depressed?" I wasn't exactly sure what he meant, "Why would I be depressed?" I questioned. "Eh, Zexion can be a downer most of the time. No one really ever knows what goes on in his crazy little head because he usually just keeps to himself." Crazy? Zexion seemed far from insane when I spent time with him. I wondered why others thought of him like that. As I sat with Demyx, I suddenly felt like someone was watching me. I turned to see Axel sitting quietly on a couch on the other side of the room with his hands behind his head. He looked slightly annoyed and his gaze quickly shifted forward when I made eye contact with him. "what's up with Axel?" I asked curiously. Demyx looked up for a moment from playing his sitar to answer, "Not really sure. He seemed fine earlier. He came in here about an hour ago and asked why you weren't back yet. I told him that I wasn't sure. He's been sitting there by himself since then." I was suddenly very confused. "So where were you?" questioned Demyx, "Recon shouldn't take THAT long." I didn't want to inform Demyx of my afternoon endeavors, for fear that Xemnas would find out. "There were a lot of Heartless. A little more than expected." I didn't think that we had done anything wrong, but I was new in the Organization and wasn't sure what we could and couldn't do. "Hm, alright then. Hey-" Demyx stopped short and seemed to be admiring the necklace that I wore around my neck. It was a crystal heart on a thick sterling silver chain, and I wondered why he would be so fascinated by it, "You okay Demyx?" He shook his head lightly, "Yeah, I'm good." he responded before returning to his sitar strumming. I looked over at Axel and found him staring at me once more. This time however, he didn't turn away when our eyes met, and for some reason, I couldn't pull my eyes away either. After a few moments, I gasped, realizing that my breathing had stopped. Axel chuckled lightly and the feeling that I had in the pit of my stomach when he looked at me that morning returned. Demyx must have noticed our silent conversation, as he began to make a remark about us, "Wow, I didn't know you two were telepathic." I finally pried my eyes from Axel to focus on Demyx, "What are you talking about?" The look on his face told me that my tone wasn't too convincing. "Why don't you just go talk to him? Us nobodies don't get shy. Well, we shouldn't, at least."

"He just...doesn't seem like the very talkative type." The moment the words had passed my lips I knew that they were a lie. Demyx's reaction told me that he did too, "Axel? Not talkative? Ha!" My face suddenly felt warm. I knew that there was a good chance that Axel had heard Demyx,

"Well, you'll have plenty of time to talk tomorrow."

"Why?" I questioned.

He looked at me and smiled, "Because I heard Xemnas say that you two were going to be paired up tomorrow."


	4. Foreign Feelings

**Chapter 4**

After I had pulled myself out of bed that morning, I headed towards the lounge room. I found Axel sitting casually in his usual seat on the small blue couch. I silently made my way over to him. I was about to say hello, but his own greeting cut me off, "Good morning, Xeiilem." His tone was sweet and soft. "Um, good morning, Axel." He stood up to meet me and the height difference between us seemed even larger than it had before. Without saying a word, he opened a dark portal and walked through it, myself following closely behind. We arrived in the same small town as before, but this time we seemed to have materialized at the bottom of a sky-scraping clock tower. The sun was just beginning to lower in the orange-glazed sky. The clock tower chimed and the whole world seemed to go silent, until eight dark figures floated towards us. They were different than the other Heartless I had seen, they wore grimy yellow jackets and pointed witch's hats to match. Axel's chakrams suddenly appeared in his hands, and my long black and blue blade appeared in mine. Axel glanced at me and smirked before diving into battle.

I watched in envy as he swiftly sliced down Heartless after Heartless. He moved with such grace and fluidity that it almost seemed as if his body was actually a large flame, swaying with the gentle breeze and burning anything that got too close. I wondered how long he had been with the Organization, and how much training he had been forced to endure to become as powerful as he was that day, and what they would put me through to make me that strong, that swift, that cunning. I knew I didn't have much time to think about it at that moment though, as the dark creatures floated towards me, seemingly unintimidated by the power that emanated from the blade in my grasp. It was easy to end them right there, but it left a hollow feeling inside of me as I watched their pink hearts fade into the dimming sky. Why were we even doing this? What were we accomplishing...

"Nice work."

I smiled weakly at Axel's compliment, but he seemed to notice something in my demeanor that must have made him question whether it was genuine or not, "You ok?" he questioned, a strange twinge of concern in his deep voice. "Yeah, I'm fine." I said plainly. An uncomfortable silence quickly fell over us, and I wondered what he was thinking, but I didn't have to guess very long, as he opened his mouth to speak, "Hey, I wanna show you something. C'mon."

I followed him through the streets, which seemed to be filled with endless shadows from the setting sun, until we reached a hidden door on the back end of the clock tower. He held the door open with one hand and motioned for me to enter with the other. I quickly located a ladder that seemed to extend up the entire side of the tower, and began climbing. On the very last step, I lost my footing and began to fall backwards, but I soon felt Axel's warm hands on my sides, helping me to regain my balance, and I knew that if I had a heart, it would have been pounding.

I sat down and swung my legs around, perching myself on the edge of the clock tower. Axel quickly followed my example, sitting casually beside me. From atop the tower, I could see the entire town. The sun cast dim shadows along the sides of buildings, people hurried about to close their shops, wanting to be home as soon as possible, a group of children ran underneath us, laughing and smiling happily as they chased one another…

"You ok?" I suddenly realized that I had drifted off, and Axel's voice had snapped me back to reality. I cleared my throat quietly before responding, "Yeah, I'm fine." I forced a smile and then turned back to the scene in front of me, "This is incredible Axel" I said, completely taken aback by the view. He chuckled lightly, "Yeah, this is kinda just my place. Where I come to get away. You're the only other living person, besides myself, who knows about this place." I found it somewhat strange the way he said only "living" person, but I figured it best not to ponder it, or I would surely drive myself mad. I then heard a faint crunching noise and turned to see two blue frozen treats wrapped in plastic being pulled from Axel's pocket. He smiled and handed one to me, "Sea Salt Ice Cream," he said. "Taste it." I slid off the plastic wrapping and did as he said. It was the strangest thing I had ever tasted. It was sweet but salty at the same time. And yet, it somehow seemed familiar. I closed my eyes and let the flavor dance across my tongue. And then, a faint memory came to me. It was of a young girl sitting contentedly on a beach as the sun set on the horizon. A slightly older but still quite young boy sat next to her with a bright smile on his pale face...

"Any good?" Once again, Axel's melodious voice brought me back to the real world. I nodded with a smile on my face. A real smile, "It's really good. It tastes strange, but familiar." Axel sighed, "That's a memory." He began, his eyes still gazing out towards the sun, "Us Nobody's sometimes remember things. I can remember most of my old life, and so can the rest of us, but sometimes certain memories are stronger than others. They cling to us and help us remember what it was like to feel." i stared at him as he spoke, attempting to make sense of his words, "Why?" was all I could mutter to him. He shrugged, "Maybe because we can't actually feel. Some part of us envies "Whole People". That's why we're here in the first place. Xemnas wants to regain his heart and apparently help us regain our own."

"But isn't envy a feeling?" I questioned curiously. A bright smile appeared across his face and, for a brief second, there was a light there that seemed so foreign, yet so familiar, and a strange feeling that I didn't recognize appeared in my stomach. "Maybe. Maybe not. Emotions are complicated things, and I guess that we'll never completely understand them until we have hearts of our own." That, I could understand. Things became silent then, but for some reason, it didn't feel awkward or frightening. It was a calm and soothing silence. One that I somehow knew I would only experience on top of that tower with him. We both continued to enjoy our Sea Salt Ice Cream as we watched the bright orange sun disappear beyond the horizon.


End file.
